It's been brought to my attention that my readers really DO want to hear the more bizarre/insane aspects of my otherwise normal life. Normal is after all, open to interpretation. So without further ado, here is the story of my toilet in the yard.
"Honey, When Charlie and Teresa come for the funeral, he can help me get the whole bathroom remodeled in three days" Now this kind of buoyant optimism should have stopped me in my tracks. Do any bathroom remodels take three days??!! But being a buoyantly optimistic person myself, I agreed. After all, we had to do something, the bathroom had mold issues that were not going to go away by themselves, and I was sick of how it looked. Cleaning mold with that nasty mold killer was going to kill me if I didn't kill it first, so I was on board! Lets Do This! I am sure you know where I am headed with this aren't you?! Really long story short: Bathroom is still not done and this was back in December. But I digress. You want to know about the toilet, right? So all this nasty stuff has to be torn out before we can commence with the actual remodel. Multiple trips were made to the curb with cast iron tubs, old vanities and mirrors, and lots of sheet rock and insulation. But somehow in the melee, the toilet didn't make it to the curb. Why I have no idea. In the defense of those doing the work, toilets are heavy. So there sat the poor potty, right next to the front stoop, in all of its gross upside down glory. I walked past that potty many times wondering why it was still there? But as I mentioned previously, toilets are heavy, so this girl won't be moving it. Numerous conversations took place between our various family members concerning the toilet. Something should be done with it, but it was right before Christmas and we are chronically busy when its not Christmas. Several times, as I walked by the potty, I thought perhaps I could put it upright and plant flowers in it, you know, a real "flower pot!" Hey we might even make the Beverly Hillbilly's look downright classy! So potty sat for the next several days. Then we got a call from our daughter, in obvious distress. "Whats wrong sweetie?" I asked her. It seems our insurance company had to come out and TAKE PICTURES OF THE OUTSIDE OF OUR HOUSE! Yep, with potty in the front yard! Said daughter was fit to be tied. How humiliating. Needless to say, potty made a hasty trip to the trash pile! But somewhere, deep in the files of our insurance company, is a picture of potty, gracing our yard in all of its porcelain elegance! Never a dull moment around here!
Now, aren't you all glad you requested this story??!! :)
